Bad days—we all have them. Over the past several months, many of us have probably had more of them than we would like. Yet “bad days” are a part of life so how can we learn to deal with negative situations so they don’t color the whole day gray, or worse yet, black? From my own experience, I have found that the most important thing I can do when faced with a challenge is to remember to bring my brain to the battle.
What do I mean by this? Let me give you a recent example from my CPA firm.
Over the past year, I have been working with a client on an IRS criminal case. This client came to me after working with another accounting practitioner who, truthfully, did not serve this client well and has put him in a precarious situation from a tax and financial perspective. Throughout the time I have been working with this client, it has become clear that he has a mental illness or, at best, post-traumatic stress disorder from the business relationship with the other practitioner who didn’t do their job.
Suffice it to say, it’s been very challenging for myself and my staff to work through this situation. Sadly, I had to fire this client last week after we had a tense call and he became aggressive, sending harassing and threatening emails with insults against myself and a staff member.
Facing a tough client or situation? Bring your brain into the battle on your behalf.
This is where remembering to bring my brain into the mental and emotional battle of this situation comes into play. I have to remember to use my thoughts to keep things in perspective and not to let this particular situation obscure my view of all of the things that our firm is doing right. I have to overcome my brain’s built-in negativity bias (The tendency we all have, according to psychological theory, to focus on the negative even if it’s really only a small percentage of the sum total of a day or situation, etc.).
This is the frame of reference that I use to coach the team member involved that everything is going to be okay. We have done our job, we did the right thing. As accounting practitioners, it’s far too easy to take the blame onto ourselves when someone else messes up. It’s hard to not get yourself wrapped up in the emotion of the moment and the situation at hand. I know for myself, I have to take the time to reflect and ask, “Did I do the right thing? Did I do the job I was hired to do?”
In this case, the answer is, “Yes. 100%.”
With this in my mind, I consciously bring my brain back to focus on fighting the urge to keep replaying the situation and keeping me in the negative place. It’s not easy, but it is necessary.
Don’t let dark clouds obscure a brighter view of your capabilities.
Something else happened on that recent dark day as well. Something pretty amazing which lifted the dark cloud and reminded myself and my team members that the negative situation was not the sum total of our abilities or our practice. In fact, the opposite is true—and this was proven out later that very same day.
Another client, who runs Lavendar Farm, came into our office to sign a Power of Attorney form. They had other questions and wanted to schedule another appointment with us. They were so polite and thankful for our help.
This client had just lost her parents and now her siblings are fighting over money. “We need to care about people and not worry about money all of the time,” I told her, as I shared The Designated Motivator (DM) philosophy from the book.
This is the type of client who our firm is built to serve. The people who get that we are all humans, doing the best that we can for them and who appreciate what we do. I am sure in your firm you have many of them. I am sure you’ve had a few challenging clients like the one I have been dealing with, too.
Keep those bad days in perspective—they do not define your professional or personal value
The truth is, in any profession and in life in general, we are all going to have struggles. If you are in the accounting profession like me, I know you're going to have those same clients that are a pain and you are also likely going to have to deal with the IRS (they are basically useless right now).
When you feel the dark clouds rolling in, try bringing your brain into the battle to remain positive. Use it to remember that most of the people we encounter are more like the Lavendar Farm family and that, on the whole, you are doing the right things by people. Use your brain to make the tough decisions such as ending a bad relationship with people who choose not to appreciate what you are doing for them. Ultimately, that is the best thing you can do for your personal physical and mental health!
When things get tough, I want you to tell your brain to remember this little DM gem for you, too: You are too valuable to let someone else’s negativity obscure all of the good you are doing as a competent professional and caring person.
A colleague of mine recently shared a text thread from an accounting profession peer. Wow, did it strike a chord (more like a whole symphony) with me! In the author of the text, had shared a “Tip for working with accountants: Yes, tax season was extended, no we didn’t get all of our work done, no we haven’t been on a great vacation, no we are not all rested up. We are still physically, mentally and literally exhausted. Get a grip folks!”
Yowza! The frustration and pain of that text hits my heart—and I am sure it resonates with many of us who have tax preparation as a significant part of our practices. We can likely sympathize with these feelings of burnout and exhaustion. The feeling that the work is never going to end and that we are going to be crushed (literally and figuratively) by the IRS deadlines coming at us head-on like a runaway train. I know I certainly can.
The truth is, over the past two tax seasons the impact of Covid-19 has morphed what is typically a stressful and intense work period at best, to a completely new form of twisted tax torture.
Have we calculated the true cost of Covid on the accounting profession?
If this situation didn’t have such a serious impact on the physical, emotional and mental health of my colleagues, I might add some levity by imagining the 2020 and 2021 tax seasons as a special accounting edition of the show “Survivor.” Like contestants on that show, we’ve all had to draw on our inner strength and professional capabilities to make it through the daily IRS changes, shifts in the ways we have to work with our teams and our clients, as well as the extended (and extended further in some states) nature of the tax seasons that seem like they will never end. To say that the process has been a challenge might just be the biggest understatement of our professional lives.
What’s even more concerning to me is the impact it is having on accounting professionals on a personal level. Although the standard tax deadlines have passed for the most part, I don’t think they are really behind us. Consider how the text chain I referenced at the beginning of this article began with this snippet below. This is the same accounting colleague bravely opening up to his peers about the way he is really feeling:
“Glad I am not alone in this. I am honestly in a place I have never been—no motivation. I just don’t care anymore. The epoch that has been our life since March 2020…has me in a funk. Truly has me rethinking it all, at 41, what now, the same?”
This is truth. This is vulnerability. This is the real life “stuff” that we as professionals deal with—the human side of our work. This is exactly why I felt called to write my book “The Designated Motivator” at this particular time, in this particular year. In the burning fire of tax season.
Why every accounting professional needs a Designated Motivator
It’s for the accounting colleague who is questioning his profession, his purpose, and his life in deep ways—he is asking for someone to help him see there is more than just what is in front of him or on the immediate horizon at this moment. He needs someone to step in to be his Designated Motivator (DM)—the person I define as, “An individual who has the passion and ability to give others the greatest gift of all: the realization and mobilization of their true potential. Using their superpower to empower others to believe in themselves so they can achieve at higher levels than they thought were possible.”
Maybe you could be his DM. Maybe it’s me (I sent him a complimentary copy of the book). I hope that even if you don’t read the book yourself, you’ll take the DM Philosophy with you as work through the aftermath of this tax season.
This is The Designated Motivator philosophy in a nutshell: We all have a superpower within us—the ability to encourage and lift up others, to help them see their true potential and help them take action to get to a better place so they can realize it. Some of us feel that this is more than a latent desire. It is our passion and purpose. I know it is mine.
The DM Philosophy is about using your superpower to motivate others (or yourself), to help them (or you) to take action and to hold them (or yourself) accountable for making good on using their greatest gifts to reach their highest potential. You can read more about the DM Philosophy, Mindset and Toolkit here.
Imagine if we all did this for each other as professionals, but more importantly, as people. What would our daily lives be like? Imagine if we did this for someone and they paid it forward…the ripple effect across the world would be infinitely amazing!
Are you a Designated Motivator? Or do you need one?
By reading The Designated Motivator, you’ll have a solid framework for actually making positive change in yourself, others, and the world (if you so choose). I deliberately wrote this book to be an action planner and an accountability framework that you can use for yourself and others, because we all know that action is the only way to truly make a change. Just thinking about it doesn’t cut it.
Some of you might dismiss this DM book and philosophy as “motivational mumbo jumbo” and that is okay. Being a DM is not for everyone. But if reading this blog has sparked something in you, the desire to reach out to someone like the accounting colleague I mentioned here for example, or perhaps even reach out to find a DM for yourself, then I will consider it successful.
I decided a long time ago that I wanted to make a difference. It’s how I started down this DM path. I felt the desire in my soul and the fire in my belly to do what I could to make people realize how gifted they are and to help them see and seize the possibility they held within them.
Now that tax season is “over” yet for many of us not really behind us, I encourage you to take on the Three Key Responsibilities of a Designated Motivator to help a colleague, friend, family member, or anyone else who may need you to:
This is where the magic happens.
I hope you’ll join me and learn how to seize your DM superpower and make a significant and lasting change in your firm, your profession and in time, the world. Consider being a guest on my new podcast The DM Disruption starting this July. Complete the guest form here and get ready to join me with your DM story or a request for a DM!!!